17th April 2016
Another week down. I am sitting here trying to recall the events of this past week and its all just a blur as most weeks are now. Thankfully Ben has just relayed it all back to me.Last Wednesday we met with our Oncologist who gave us a rundown of the Chemotherapy, how it works, side effects and a very rough schedule of the treatment plan. The first week of Chemo will be a 3 day week. Depending on the drug used (which apparently we will soon know all the medical names) our days of chemo in hospital will vary from one day a week to five days a week. If Cody gets a fever, allergic reaction, etc, the treatment plan goes out the window and we play it by ear.
Meaning, from now on, it is extremely hard to plan ANYTHING because it will all depend on Cody’s health. We just have to remind ourselves its all for the sake of Cody getting better.
Side effects of Chemotherapy vary from person to person. The hair loss will happen maybe around week 3. I am prepared for it. But the day it falls out, is going to be like another one of those cancer bombshells.
On Thursday, Cody had minor surgery to have his Chemotherapy port inserted under his skin. Once again, we were prepared for the procedure, but when they wheeled him back to the room after 3 hours of surgery, his small body had me and Ben in tears. He was still asleep from the General Anesthetic, however, he was sort of whimpering in his sleep and would cry out in pain here and there. I sat next to his bed for an hour watching him. I thought if I stared at him long enough that maybe I could use some sort of Jedi mind power to transfer his pain over to me, so that i could bear the load of the pain and not Cody. If it were that easy, i would’ve taken the cancer off him by now and taken it for myself, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.
I stayed overnight with Cody in hospital, but neither of us had much sleep as a nurse came in every hour to take his obs. Cody would drift off to sleep, then he would roll over or make a noise and I’d jump up each time just to make sure he was okay.
The next morning, Cody needed an infusion of Iron just to make sure his iron & blood levels had a nice, healthy start before starting chemotherapy. We were told it would take 6 hours and we would be able to go home at 6.30pm that night. As 6.30 approached, I got excited at the idea of finally going home and seeing my Jack. Jack had his last day of school for the term and I couldn’t wait to see him and hear all about his day. 6.30 came and went, the infusion didn’t finish till 8 o’clock. The nurse came in and then said Cody needs another drip to flush it out and then had to observe him afterwards to make sure he didn’t have a reaction, we wouldn’t get out of there until after 9pm.
I rang Jack and told him that we’d see him in the morning instead. I was upset afterwards. Ben reassured me that this type of thing would happen a lot. However, it wasnt reassuring. It just sucks. I hate not being able to be a family each day. And even though its only early days, I already hate the hospital. The thing that makes it so hard is that I KNOW being at hospital and Cody getting his medicine is the only thing that will get him better. And I’m sorry if it sounds selfish, but I hate how our lives are now based in and around the hospital. The novelty has run out very quickly.
We got a storybook from the hospital that explains Cody’s tumor in a simple way to Jack. Jack sometimes wants to talk about it and other times does not. He has a simple understanding of what is going on. He knows Cody will be starting his medicine this week and that Cody’s hair will fall out. Jack is a real caring soul and when he gets upset, so do I and vice versa. Today at lunch, he just started crying and told me and Ben that he misses Cody so much when he’s at the hospital. It made me cry then, and guess what? Its making me cry now! I probably share far too much information on this blog, but hey, this is our life. Each day is different as a family. Some days we actually forget about it all and have a heap of fun, other days we’re reminded of the reality that we are facing.
Tuesday is Cody’s first official day of chemotherapy. I’ll keep you all posted.
– Elise x